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Why Kids Are Better Than Cyberspace(And Most Adults)

July 9, 2010

So I guess I’ve learned, AGAIN, in the past 5 months since I last blogged that it’s WAY more fun to hang out with Ian than it is to try and play catch-up with emails, twitter, blog posts, Facebook, reading articles that interest me, etc.   Who knew.  I spent 6+ years before Ian was born typing vigorously nightly, replying to posts on domestic skunk rescue-related yahoo groups ( Jon and I are Ohio reps for http://www.skunkhaven.net ).  I spent time being aggravated to tears, bored to tears, saddened to tears.  I provided and received advice and education.  I am still the primary nutrition consultant for any and all pet food questions that arise in our sector of the domestic skunk community.   I was a mad internet FIEND while I was pregnant, reading, researching, emailing like a mad woman about everything from vaccines to midwives to home birth.   I had a 2nd yahoo email address, created specifically for the 7 vaccine groups I was on.   I was going through about 800 emails a day between skunks and baby reading.   But, shortly after Ian was born, I got off the skunkinfo group.   The first time I found myself so engrossed at being angry with someone(it was a political post inappropriately sent to the skunk list, this was pre-2008) that I felt like Ian was disturbing my emailing, I quit.  Just like that.  Cold turkey.  I quit all yahoo groups(with the exceptions of a few lists I’m still on, mostly unschooling lists, though I RARELY send emails).  And amazingly, with the weight lifted off my shoulders, I became even more engrossed in Ian.  It was SO nice to not have to explain why packaged pet food and kibble is garbage 900 times a day.   It was nice to not read about all the atrocities vaccines cause every single day around the globe.   It was great not to read about yahoos complaining that their baby skunks bite or aren’t potty trained(they are BABIES, get a clue, ALL species of  pups and kits nip and they ALL take time to train).   Admittedly, I had a major increase in wrist pain just before I made the decision, that made it all that much easier(it was quickly and easily cleared up by an anti-inflammatory diet for a while).

To try and get a quick cyber re-connect that might not take up too much time, I decided to start a facebook page.  That proved to be a horrible disaster.  It was fun at first to find “friends”(I use that term loosely) from school, and to learn what everyone was doing.  But not too long after, “friends” were telling me to keep my kid the hell away from the rest of the world, because, being non-vaccinated, he was, of course, a carrier for every disease on earth.   I was also told I was lucky my kid’s head hadn’t popped off during delivery at home, that it was the most insane, ignorant choice anyone could make to have a baby at home.   I was even told my kid was going to die, since he had no shots.  These comments came from so-called ‘adults’/’friends'(/humans?????)!!  For a while I posted replies and retorts.   I thought if maybe I could enlighten just a few people, so that one day I don’t log on to find someone’s child had been diagnosed with this or that vaccine-related ailment, or that another pointless, harmful c-section had been performed on an uninformed mother.  I posted articles and evidence.  When my(childless) very best friend from school found me on there, I was SO excited to be in contact with him again!  We tried to catch each other to chat, sent some direct messages back and forth, it was great.  Then suddenly he replied to one of my posted articles(vaccine-related), told me my beliefs were frightening,  that he never wanted to talk to me again, then he un-friended me.  I was beyond hurt…  Then, I noticed him replying to another friend’s comments, and he said he didn’t remember her, even when she tried to refresh his memory(the average size of a Lordstown graduating class is 50, FYI), but he was “friends” with her ANYWAY.  I was hurt SICK.  So, again, I cut it all off.

I actually originally started this blog because I thought I would document Ian’s progress regularly along the way.  Then I realized that it was more my ‘thing’ to aid/inform/educate.  After so long, it’s really what I’m most comfortable doing.  Besides, does anyone really want to read about my kid every day?  Maybe my family(many of whom fall into the category of “THEM”, so here we go again)…   Fortunately I’m among the living with a brain who realize that there’s no better thing to do with your time than to spend it with your kid.  Now that he finally enjoys being read to, and he’s becoming more interactive with each passing day, it’s becoming more and more enjoyable.  How do people end this wonderful experience and send their kids off to school?  I’ll never know.  I wouldn’t dream of it.

After UWWG earlier this year, I joined facebook again, on the advice of Faith, friend and UWWG “roomie”.  I started a whole new account, and I am not friends with ANYONE that is not an unschooler.  It is the sole reason for my account.  I’m not even friends with Jon, because then ‘THEY” would FIND me.  I have little to no use for ‘THEM”. I had grown tired enough of defending my thoughts/actions/beliefs.  These people FINALLY understand.   I’m on twitter as well.  Though I’m not on there much, I have myself surrounded by ‘safe’ people.  Some people would call it taking the chicken easy way out.  But I spent enough hard time NOT enjoying my cyber-time.  I need all my time, emotions and patience invested in my kiddo(and Jon, whose ailing back is finally showing promising signs of healing now that we’ve found the magical mystical healers.  We don’t know what they do, and don’t WANT to know.  Important thing is they are NOT allopaths).   I can’t help it if there are people who wish to remain blissfully ignorant about things that can endanger the lives of their offspring.  Just today I received an email from a friend who, after reading my blog, has some substantial evidence that her now grown child suffered vaccine damage at a young age.  This is what I hope to try and prevent in ANY way I can!  But, some ‘adults’ already know everything, and don’t need to be taught.   I guess I just answered my own question in the above paragraph…  If a person doesn’t have the desire or curiosity to learn, explore or read about things they don’t know about, and they don’t have the innate desire to give their kid every advantage and ensure their safety from the moments surrounding birth until they’re on their own, they don’t really have what it takes to become engrossed in helping a curious little mind blossom.  I’m sure the children of some of those ‘adults’ will grow up knowing everything as well, just like their parents.  Oh well…  At least I’ve changed to a ‘choir’ who won’t blatantly insult me…

So, to yack for a moment about the one who has interrupted my cyber-ing(thankfully) and altered my life like no other…  What a wonder my kid is.  I can totally see how people have like a zillion kids(though we are have NO more, EVER, until Jon can give birth).  He’s a month shy of 3 years old, and every day contains a surprise, we just don’t know what it is until it happens.  Last week, he was a MANIAC on Tuesday.  I mean an uncontrollable animal, which is extremely rare for him.   Then Wednesday morning he woke up and said, “What’s Daddy doing?”!!!  And he’s speaking in whole sentences, just like that!  Amazing!  Lucky for me he decided to do it during the week of my vacation, so I got to witness the whole thing.   Unfortunately, as in all things, the bad comes along with the good.  He can now ask to go to our favorite Mexican restaurant,  a request my mother is all too happy to oblige way more often than is sane or reasonable.   But hey, if she’s buying…  He’s a comedian just like his father and grandfather, for SURE.  He says and does the most hilarious things, and I SWEAR he loves to perform. That is, until you actually try to show someone something he commonly does, then he acts like we’re idiots and he has no idea what we’re talking about.  The things he says and does are such a wonderful addition to our lives.  We laugh hysterically at him several times a day, and he laughs back at us.  Everything is great, everyone is good, it’s all perfect.  I’m gonna do the best I can to ensure he doesn’t become an adult.

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